Carl was 62 years old when this happened and thankfully still working with what we thought was terrific health insurance. As anyone who has been through tragedy knows, it’s not always the case. I’m not complaining by any means, but as we were waiting for Carl to recover from surgery, the paperwork started pouring in. You would think that with full coverage insurance, it would be a breeze, but that’s far from the truth. There were mountains of bills coming our way. If only he had been able to get on Medicare, but at 62 it wasn’t possible.
The first thing I remember is how, at every corner, we would have to call the insurance company to keep them posted on what was happening. We tracked all of the procedures, making sure we were not ever out-of-network not only at the hospitals, but checking each and every one of the doctors involved. Did you know that sometimes hospitals and even some clinics have to rely on doctors from other facilities and that they might not be in-network even while working through an in-network hospital or clinic? It was another form of a nightmare for us to tackle.
The papers to sign never ended, faxes had to be sent, emails had to be written and phone calls made. Fortunately, I have a very dear friend back home who helped ensure I had access to all the finances so that the bills could be paid.
We also had to maintain contact with Human Resources at Carl’s work with all the details of what was happening. Tom and I were constantly writing things down that were accomplished and what had yet to be done. I got my friend back home to send my POA paperwork because every single bill had to show proof that I had authority over accounts. Utility companies, insurance providers, hospitals, labs, clinics, credit cards, you name it, they got a copy.
Then the salespeople came pouring in and they all had business cards, brochures and paperwork that we had to have. It was all piling up on me. Did you know that when you are in this type of situation, companies have sales teams they send to hospitals to ‘sell’ you on their services? It’s quite maddening however, it is how we met a gal who presented us the details on the finest rehab facility in Florida, so I can’t complain too much. I didn’t know if it was the truth, but it turns out Carl couldn’t have gotten better care anywhere else in the country.
Navigating the Learning Curve:
There was so much to do that I started feeling like I was losing control of keeping everything in order. I started to get confused, unable to remember what I had asked and what I hadn’t. The height of the mountain of knowledge that I had to learn was growing by leaps and bounds and at that point, I had no way of organizing anything. It’s like using those little sticky notes. You start by using one, and the next thing you know there are hundreds of them sticking to everything and you can’t find what you’re looking for when you need it. I again have to say thank you to Tom for being by my side throughout all this craziness.
Next up were the Dietitians that would come in to talk to me about after-care dietary needs! Carl would need to be fed through a G-Tube which was attached to him. They showed me how much he had to be fed, how many times he had to be fed, how to clean everything, what to do to troubleshoot, going on and on and on. How was I supposed to remember all this, keeping in mind this instruction was just about feeding him! There were mounds of other issues I had to learn to help him on his way back to living life. Nugget:
Get help from a friend, relative, advocate or caregiver. Hopefully, you can find someone familiar with the type of trauma you are facing. Walking through this alone is simply just too much for one person.
Just like pre-planning your funeral, you should pre-plan for the cracks in life because some of them are so big they have the potential to swallow you up. Have an organizational system worked out. Know where to find the paperwork you’ll need. Simply put, get the ducks in your lives put in a row. You’ll be thankful you took the time to put it all together when you’re healthy.