After the craniotomy was complete, nothing more could be done except wait. When Carl came back to ICU he was hooked up to all sorts of monitors, with bandages covering all around his head, wires and tubes coming out from his skull. The sounds of all the machines, a never-ending beeping, screeching noise that I thought would drive me insane will be embedding in my own brain for hours on end.
Days flew by as time was no longer being calculated in my thoughts. Emotionally drained and exhausted, my tears simply disappeared. Sleep was reduced to just a couple of hours a night as my mind kept tormenting me. I would be jolted out of sleep, covered in sweat, unable to allow God to flow through me to calm my thoughts.
During this period of waiting… my thoughts were all about Carl’s personality, our marriage and how much we had become one person. He was my soulmate, my one and only, my knight in shining armor. He was highly intelligent, and I relied on him for everything. Sometime,s we would compete to see which of us was smarter, and every now and then, I would outsmart him! I hate to admit it, but it was due to researching ahead of time, otherwise known as cheating. I would wait for him to give me the look. You know, when someone doesn’t believe you, they peer out the side of their eyes with a, yeah, right, kind of look. When he saw that I was correct he would garner a ‘defeated’ expression that never failed to crack me up.
I felt safe with him. Traveling, no matter if we drove or flew, I would never have to worry about getting lost or stranded, running out of gas or breaking down. He never had to stop to ask for directions because he always researched how to get from point A to point B beforehand. His work required him to fly to military bases all over the world so he knew airports like no one I’ve ever known. He knew gate locations, airline rules and regulations and even knew a few of the pilots.
The hotel where I stayed, had a wonderful staff that were some of the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. They became somewhat of a support group for me in the mornings, showing me love and concern. The more we got to talking, I learned that Carl had been staying in this same hotel over the years and when I showed them his picture, they knew exactly who he was. That was the kind of man Carl was. He never met a stranger, always reaching out to get to know others.
Since I was under the impression that I would be greeting a husband who might need a bit of recovery time and we’d be heading home in a couple of days, I didn’t exactly pack for the length of stay needed. I needed clothes and sundries so the Lyft drivers would take me wherever I needed to go. The hospital, hotel and to all the close-by shopping venues. Every single one of them were outgoing and friendly, always asking if there was anything they could do to help me.
When Tom and I would take a break from the ICU, we would go downtown for lunch to get away from the sounds and smells of the hospital. Their downtown had a beautiful walking path and park, so when the weather was good, which it was typically beautiful, we were able to blanket ourselves in the fragrances and sights of nature. To be honest, even if it had been raining during lunchtime, I would have delighted in walking the path without regard to the rain. I needed to feel the goodness of nature no matter the form.
Nugget:
Waiting times give you the opportunity to think about what is truly important in life. You have the time to be thankful for the small things in life, to recognize the blessings that have come your way and you just might meet some of the finest people you’ll ever know. Take time to thank them, hug their necks and show your appreciation. Keep all the good memories in your head as much as possible because the devil will steal your joy if you let him.